This Evening a Blind Man Made Me Cry

My tram pulled into the stop. I saw him approaching the back door of the tram where I was sitting. I poised myself in case he needed any assistance. He didn’t. He sat with ease, directly opposite me.

Almost immediately an oddness hit me. No staring in awe, in wonder, in curiosity nor in any of the less desirable tones I have experienced in my everyday life here in the Czech Republic. I was just another person sitting there. Just another human. No more, no less.

With that realization- the pureness, the security, the innocence, the rawness of just being a person– came a completely unexpected burst of emotion. It was a feeling I have never felt before. I don’t think I have enough of a gift with words to describe it with any justice. And even if I did, it still wouldn’t portray its immense depth.

Tears welled up in my eyes. I held it. I felt a strange happiness. I held it. Then everything erupted and the tears flowed. I cried. I cried in appreciation of that unique and precious moment. Then the tide inside me changed and I cried for all the times I sat opposite someone and the feeling that I felt was the complete opposite of what was in that moment. I cry again now as I write these words, in thoughtfulness and in gratitude.

At that moment, as I got up to exit the tram, I had a distinct and almost tangible thought, imagine if this was what the world was like, always.

Then I cried in mourning of that….. and in pure hope of that.

~~~The Wandering Pier

 

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5 thoughts on “This Evening a Blind Man Made Me Cry

  1. Aw, I’m sorry you’ve had to be dealing with all that, but I’m glad you got a moment of refuge from it. I know the feeling well and it can be so rough dealing with it day in and day out, but I embrace that hope too and those moments where the tide does change. Thank you for sharing your experience and your honesty.

    To be perfectly honest as well, I was the only person of color on my last trip for days and days and it felt very strange the few times I ran into people, especially since I live in a super-diverse neighborhood and no one bats an eye seeing a brown person. There was a sort of um…I suppose dehumanizing curiosity and paternalistic attitude toward a young female backpacker of color, like I’m weak and didn’t know what I was doing or that I’m a novelty. Definitely absent from interactions I witnessed with male, white backpackers and women accompanied by men. Ugh, getting stared at by groups and groups of white tourists was the WORST, especially when all I wanted to do was rest in the shade and have lunch after hiking down and up a freaking mountain first thing in the morning!

    When I ran into another woman of color who didn’t treat me like that, who was an outdoorswoman herself, who talked to me on the level and didn’t make ridiculous assumptions about my skill levels or capability, it was such relief and made it easier to deal with people after days in solitude.

    It’s nothing like living in it day in and day out. At least I had the option to hide in my campsite and hit the trail early! It’s just so weird and sometimes you learn to deal with it and deal with it and then a random moment like this happens and you realize just how much you deal with. These awesome individuals are such a balm for the soul. That’s how I feel about it anyway. 🙂

    1. I’m sorry for the very delayed response. I’ve been away for quite some time. Despite of the large amount of time that has elapsed since you wrote, I thought your heartfelt comment deserved a response! Where were you for that trip you mentioned? It’s crazy some of the challenges we have to go through that don’t even have to be considered by others but that’s life… Other people have struggles I don’t have to deal with too. I’m facing some new/different ones in my new home (Malaysia). One thing is certain, they make us stronger and hopefully more open minded people. Thanks again for taking the time to write.

  2. Thanks for sharing a bit of insight. Something you don’t get to hear about much…those odd sometimes difficult realities of being forced out of your comfort zone. I read it twice.Thanks for sharing.

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