It’s a gorgeous sunny day and I’m done with work, so I decided to head down to the beach for a stroll and to lay out with my book. I get off the bus and make my way down to the beach. I notice a tent and one of those wind blocker things erected. There were two men standing in front of them (behind them from where I was) talking. I could only see their shoulders and heads. I thought it made for a good photo so I whip my phone out and poise.
Then one guy turns almost towards me and he notices me. He is now looking intently at me. I lower my hand and decide to wait for a few seconds (I was still very far away, otherwise I would have asked to take a picture). Where he’s standing now, there is a small gap between the tent and the wind blocker and I genuinely think to myself, “Whoa those are some really fresh coloured speedos.”
As I think that, I look slightly to the right and there stood a sign reading, “Boundary for naturist beach”. OOPS. Okay. I’m on a nudist beach. Do I go back? Can I have my walk? I see a couple other people in clothes. I walk on. As I walk, I start to feel super self-conscious because everyone is naked and I’m clothed AND I’m getting stares. I am 100% sure I feel more uncomfortable than anyone of them laying there in their naked glory.
As unease envelopes me, I decide to quicken my pace and get to the end of this piggy* zone. You try power walking through deep, loose pebbles. In sandals! It felt like the quicker I moved, the slower I went with more exertion than it should have even needed. At last, I get to the end of the boundary. I walk further still.
Finally, I sit on the beach, in close proximity to the lifeguards. I note this and ponder my subconscious processes. Then I thought I must share this with the world, so you can laugh at my bollocks day at the beach. As I sit here writing this and I look over to the piggy* zone, I feel envious of their naked freedom. The thought crossed my mind to just walk back over and do it. Just do it! Who cares. Then I think, eff that walk!
Brighton, you are awesome.
*piggy, piggy leeks – Trini speak for penis.